Oh..Youth

Oh…it’s so good being young.

“The older I get the more that I see
My parents aren’t heroes, they’re just like me
And loving is hard, it don’t always work
You just try your best not to get hurt
I used to be mad but now I know
Sometimes it’s better to let someone go
It just hadn’t hit me yet
The older I get”

— Sasha Alex Sloan, Older

A few days ago, my husband and I binged watch a reality show called Single’s Inferno. The premise was a group of unbelievably attractive men and women stranded in an island to find love for 10 days. Well, let’s just say that we were too infested on the show. I was having this weird feelings that I have never, ever felt before. Seeing their stories of that butterflies going to the Paradise together with someone you’re attracted to or the heartbreak of your unrequited love made me realized that…I am starting to get old!

I turned 30 last year and it didn’t hit me before seeing this show that I realized I don’t think that I will experience what they experienced just now at this stage of my life. Oh..how exciting is it to be young, right? Right off the bat, they were all clueless about themselves that it was so exciting to watch their love storied unfolded. At one time, a girl named So-e was having conflicted feelings towards a guy that she liked, Yoong-jae. He gave her mixed signals and she confronted him about him. At the end, she was the one who stepped up and said that she knows that he’s not interested and it should be better for them to be friends. I mean how a freakin’ 23 years old can be that brave?? I was seeing herself in me when I was young.

I was reckless when I was her age or before. I was like her, conflicted and still searching for the meaning of finding happiness. I really like her arc and at the end she found her match (Spoiler much, Ahjumma!). I followed her religiously after watching it, secretly hoping that she is still with the guy that made her happy (oh stop!). I mean, that’s what exciting about youth, right? The honeymoon stage, heartbreaks, makes mistakes and learning yourself.

At this stage of my life, my priorities change, my feelings change and everything that I need to do change. I won’t be able to like So-e or experience what she have but I have done my part during my past youth. I love my youth and I won’t change anything about it. It would be foolish for us to not reminiscing about our youth. Youth is the best time to be reckless and be whatever you want. What excites me is to see them succeed whether they are still together or not and never waste your youth.

Life goes on whether we like it or not and we may be peak on our past sometimes but that’s the beauty of life: live in the present and you won’t miss a thing.

xoxo, from 30yo Ahjumma that willing to drag myself to Korea real soon.

oh! two of the guys are older than me so I found myself that I am not old but maybe my youth is over and that I am at a different stage of life.